Posts

What the Luck?

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Happy Chinese New Year! I can probably write about how I celebrate it with my family (the red pockets, food, family traditions, stories etc.)
Instead, I want to talk about Luck.

I started thinking about the beliefs associated with the Chinese celebration. If I were to stereotype Chinese people, I would say we have an incredibly superstitious culture. We have beliefs about certain numbers, dates, colours, daily practices, types of food, words and pretty much anything you can think of. Depending on what they are, it will either bring you good luck or give you bad luck.

From planning to give birth/get married/engaged on a particular date...to ordering an even number of dishes at a restaurant, there is a lot of thought that goes into every decision a Chinese person makes, depending on how superstitious they are. 

I would say my parents are moderately superstitious. They pick and choose what they want to believe in and tried their best to get my sisters and me to believe in them.

My mom likes…

I Don't Experience FOMO but Should I?

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The other day, I was rolling around the floor with my daughter when she picked up one of my husband’s lame CPA magazines and chucks it at me. She proceeds to grab one of her own books and starts reading. I get it...I begin reading.

I started to peruse an article about spending habits (you know because accountants love all things related to money). In it, it said that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is an actual reason why millennials overspend.

Are you fucking kidding me? People my age spend money because they have a “fear of missing out on”....what? Like that beautifully pictured cappuccino and notebook placed precisely on the edge of a table? Or that perfectly timed photo of someone mid-jump on top of a mountain, looking super cool and dangerous?

So I’m trying to wrap my head around this article (I guess the magazine's not as lame as I thought since it's making me think). That means some of us see these images and/or statuses on their social media feeds and they start buying cappucc…

Don't Tell Me to Cherish These Moments Because I Already Do

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So parents or parents-to-be, do you ever hear that piece of advice, “Cherish these moments while your children are still young because, in a blink of an eye, they’ll be all grown up”I’ll admit I've said something like this to other parents a bunch of times without even thinking about it. I’ve heard it from other parents (most often those with older children) so many times that it’s ingrained in my list of phrases to say during those dreaded small talk sessions.

Then I get the usual, “Oh time will fly by and before you know it, she’s talking back to you and asking for more data on her phone.” Or “it feels like yesterday they were in diapers and a hug would solve all their problems. It's like in a blink of an eye, they’re teenagers with so many bigger issues.” etc.

Well fuck that because, in the last 18 months or so, time has been moving the speed that it is at. It feels like it’s been 18 months, not longer, not shorter, but precisely 18 months. It’s not flying by and it’s not cr…

People Still Don't Talk About Real Stuff

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I don’t like small talk. I don’t take pleasure in chatting about the weather, news, sports, the condos they’re building down the street and other miscellaneous topics. 
I make small talk all the time but I find as I get older, it’s becoming more and more mindless fluff. As a mom, this realization has magnified since my attention span and patience for bullshit is always running low.  
My husband and I recently started watching “Mad Men” and during one of the first few episodes, Don Draper and his wife, Betty, are having drinks with his boss and his wife. They were discussing how Don’s boss had a nanny and he grew up fine. Then Don's boss asks if he ever had a nanny and he avoids the question and jokingly states that it would “ruin the first half of [his] novel.”

I started thinking about how Don reacted and how this show was based in the 1960s. It is now 2018 and whenever I’m at a social outing, I still do the same thing. I don’t talk about those personal details and others don’t eithe…

5 Tips to Help Overcome Momsomnia

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So I mentioned I suffered from insomnia when I was in grade 8. For 3 months straight, I didn’t sleep.
It was a freaky experience and I will never forget it. It was a combination of fear, anxiety, stress, and numbness as sleep deprivation ate away my presence, leaving behind an empty 13-year-old shell.

Right before bedtime, my anxiety levels would peak and my mind would race about what happened during the day and the worries about what would happen that night. In bed, I’d lay awake, glancing at the alarm clock every hour, switching from my left to my right, hoping it would be the last side before I fell asleep.

When my alarm would go off, I became a zombie, rolling out of bed and going through the motions of my morning routine. Cloudy thoughts would fill my groggy mind as the school day ground to a halt. 

During the time between coming home and going to bed, I would count down the hours before bedtime and the vicious cycle would begin all over again.

At the end of the 3 months, I was able …

How Chinese Medicine Validated My Decisiveness

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Some decisions are hard to make and some are easy. Making a decision like ‘where do you want to go for dinner?’ may be easy for someone and hard for someone else.
Last month, I picked up the Instagram bug and I saw one of those pretty pictures with cursive writing, stating, “Do you make decisions with your head or your heart?” This triggered me to immediately comment, “It depends”. And I was fully prepared to provide my advice (if requested, obviously) on whatever decision this Instagrammer was trying to make. How come I was so quick to talk about making decisions?When I was in my early 20’s, some of the simplest decisions would stress me out. There were days when I couldn’t decide if I should wear blue, black or gray pants because I honestly thought wearing the wrong colour would ruin my day. Deciding what to eat would often take hours because my head would go into overdrive, weighing all the options, taking into consideration my diet, my cravings, my budget, what I have or haven’t tri…

Dating Chronicles 2: The Online Profile That Made the Cut

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So a few weeks ago, I started my Dating Chronicles. Essentially, I wanted to capture my thoughts about dating for my daughter. Whenever I ask my mom about her dating history, she would either say she doesn't remember or something vague like, "It's different nowadays. Back then, we just hung out as big groups of boys and girls." 

According to my dad, she is the most beautiful woman he's ever dated and he's been in love with her since day 1. He's a lot more open about his dating history than my mom. It's probably because of the traditional mindset that women should be perceived as those who don't date around but rather they "save themselves" for marriage. And men should be perceived as having accumulated a ton of trophies experience by the time they settle down. I honestly don't know if my parents are like this because of a generational thing or a Chinese cultural thing...probably a mix of both.

My mom's lack of detail just doesn…

No Dumpling Left Behind: Estimating A Parent's Love

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It's my time to reflect on those sometimes annoying, mandatory Chinese family dinners growing up and how they've changed as I got older.So I've known how to make food for myself since I was very little, like elementary school times. I remember when I was 8, I would go to the kitchen, grab myself an apple, a serrated knife and start cutting it into slices (I guess my parents didn't quite childproof the kitchen or is that a normal thing?). I'd put them on a plate and then start eating them while watching Rocko’s Modern Life. The apple slices turned into sugar cookies, then lasagna and then whatever I saw on the Food Network (I was the kind of teen who took notes during Christine Cushing Live. This was before I could look up recipes on my phone okay?). I cook fast and I’m very efficient. So when I became a mom, the whole dinnertime part wasn’t that bad until one night.

I come home, daughter in my left arm (having picked her up from Gong Gong Por Por’s after work) and…

Dating Chronicles 1: Needs, Wants, Deserves

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Although I'm happily married, I know dating is hard. Sometimes you get treated like shit. How did I try to avoid being thrown in the diaper genie?This is the first of several posts about my perspectives on dating and relationships. Similar to what I wrote in my RBF blog, I believe being positive attracts those who are positive and being negative attracts those who are negative (Contrary to how magnets work, it's not a miracle haha).  If we treat ourselves well, we will attract people who will treat us well. If we treat ourselves like shit, we will attract those who are attracted to those who treat themselves like shit...you know, so they can take advantage of us and expand their shit treating skills. 

Wait a sec...just so we are clear, how do you treat shit? I’ve changed my fair share of poopy diapers (still going at it BTW) and those get dumped into the Diaper Genie so no one can see it, hear it, taste it, touch it or smell it (they call it a Genie for a reason). Since most …